Sunday, 29 November 2009


Just a quick update. My Tale Of Four Gamers tasks for Novemeber are complete. Took a while to find the time to do those stormboyz what with winds of war distracting me, but it's done now.

A full update on everyones scores and their challenges for next month will be put up on the 1st of December.

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

Combat Patrols

Today I popped down to the workshop for a few combat patrols against Chris. We planned to give our ToFG armies a game, plus a test game for some Winds of War lists. This was more useful for Chris than me - he's still refining his Winds of War list, whereas I have committed to a fluff based list and started converting already! :oP

Game 1 - ToFG vs ToFG

Chris has a LOT of heavy weapons in his army. I charged my truks as far as I could, with the Stormboyz following them for cover. The first Lascannon squad killed one truk, along with half the squad inside. The other Lascannon squad pegged the other squad... with half the boys inside, and half the following Stormboys. More than half my army had evaporated in one round of shooting. For Str 3 against T4, he rolled a lot of wounds. By the time I got the remnants into combat they didn't have the required numbers, and then when the commander laid in with his power fist it was swiftly over. I was trying to take a consolation prize by killing the commander with my power klaw ork, but the git passed two 5+ invulnerable saves. Git.

The Truk, which carries Orks, (and if todays game is anything to go by, high explosives and jerry cans full of petrol fumes) that made such a brief appearance...
I also had to say that Chris rolls on the Ramshackle table were uncanny. The ramshackle table takes a wrecked or explodes result, and makes it into
1-2 - still explodes
3-4 - goes 3D6" in a random direction, THEN explodes
5-6 - falls apart but no damage to the Orks
Out of three exploded results (over both ToFG list games) Chris rolled a 1 or 2 each time. On the fourth truk he got 2 destroyed results, so rolled two dice, rolling a 5! But also a 2. You take the lowest result. Git!

Game 2 - Winds of War vs Winds of War

I took my fluffy Winds of War list, which I have to admit I don't expect to do all that well with, but so long as it looks good ;o)

My penal legion rolls were disappointing, as I rolled assault lasguns on both. This would be excellent for holding a defensive position around an objective, but for simple killing each other it's only marginally better than normal guardsmen (and NO better in combat) However, Chris combining his squads did give me hope. If I could tie up that big squad, I've negated most of his army...

I kinda figured my priest was screwed on this one as I wanted my army to outflank, but I deployed him anyway. Chris fired 8 krak missiles at him on turn 1, but he passed all the cover saves he was required to make. With a good run roll, he moved 12" closer, and also used a building to reduce Chris LOS. Chris moved his sentinals nearer to the edge to get a single shot at him, and rejoiced as he killed him... until I pointed out the rosarius gave him a 4+ invulnerable, which he passed :oP

My storm troopers (with first round of shooting causing pinning) came in and tried to cause the uber squad some problems. Managed to do some damage between them and the penal legions, but they passed their morale check to avoid being pinned.

Chris command squad came in and attacked my storm troopers, killed some but they held. My chimera then tried to tank shock his army off the table (Chris was perilously close to his board edge) but again he passed his morale check. On the bright side his sentinals death or glory attack merely shot a weapon off, the sentinal was duly creamed. The priest and penal legion went to the aid of the strm troopers, while the other penal legion picked a fight with the uber unit, hoping to tie them up for a while.

By the time the fight involving Chris command squad had been decided in my favour, the chimera had been immobilised, the storm troopers were down to a single plasma gunner, and the priest joined the half squad of penal legion. They advanced on the uber mob that was locked in combat with my penal squad. Now my plan at this point was to hold him in combat with the penal legion while the other penal legion moved up to reinforce. The Storm Trooper would try to hurt the sentinals, with support from the immobilised Chimera. Unfortunately the penal legion, needing to pass a morale check on Stubborn Ld 8, failed and ran. Chris used his consolidate move to put some distance between him and my remaining forces. I knew I couldn't reach him now without suffering a horrendous amount of fire. However, seeing his unit was down to 23 models (under half str, so at least giving me half points) I decided to try to gain points in other ways. I charged the sentinals. Now only the priest could hurt it, with a 6 followed by a 6 to glance from a frag grenade, but I figured he'd kill one guardsman a turn and my stubborn Ld8 squad should be ok. I figured if I got half points for his infantry, full for his command, and maybe took his sentinals to under half the original unit strength, I may have a chance. At the time the surviving storm trooper and penal legion meant he'd only scored points for about half my army... it was still quite close. Of course, my penal legion failed their stubborn Ld 8 (again!) so I conceded defeat. With only a sentinal remaining I figured they'd be locked in combat forever and there was no way my immobilised chimera and solitary storm trooper could take out enough of the remaining guardsmen.

In this game 2 crucial Ld tests for Chris were passed (avoiding being pinned when my forces first arrived, then avoiding falling back off the table when tank shocked.) I was faced with two similarly crucial Ld tests (keep him in the fight so I can reinforce, later keep me in the fight so I can't get shot! :oP) and failed them. That's just the way things go sometimes.

Game 3 - Winds of War 2 vs ToFG

This time Chris tried a mechanised list. As stated in his blog he made the mistake of driving towards me. This got me in combat on turn 1. Needing 6s to hit yes, but at least this time I had plenty of bodies to get me those 6s. Ripped a multilaser off one chimera and blew up another. Some well placed flamer shots hurt my squads, but I managed to steadily advance on his firebase. His chimeras tried to make a fighting retreat but my Orks were nipping at their heels. The stormboys roared on ahead and killed some infantry, but took plenty of fire in return from the Lascannon squad. With a few men left it looked like the game was easily in Chris favour (I have a nob and 3 boyz. Chris had 2 chimera, a squad and a heavy weapon squad.) Things did not go as expected...

The few remaining Orks wiped out the infantry squad, but fire from the chimera and lascannons took out the remaining boyz. The nob pasted a chimera (leaving it an empty box which he finished off in Chris assault phase) and was out of LOS of the lascannons. Chris forgot to move the other chimera, but celebrated wildly when I failed my armour save. I then pointed out that a Nob has 2 wounds... he then ripped apart the other chimera. Not knowing relative scores, I charged across the battlefield along the defence lines. A good run roll got me right to the end of the wall. The lascannons opened up - the one that wounded, I passed the cover save on. We rolled the dice, game over. Just to see what would have happened, he fired at me - and failed to kill the nob. I moved out... but was 6.5" away, so couldn't assault. SO we checked the scores.

Chris Lascannon squad was 105 points. The margin for victory (10% for a draw) was 50 points. My nob surviving meant he only scored half points for that squad. 112, divided by 2, 56. 49 points behind Chris - a draw! It was a hilarious rampage by the Nob, and highly entertaining.

Ork Nob with Power Klaw FTW... well, For The Draw actually. But highly entertaining!

From the effectiveness of Chris firing I discovered something in these games. Extra armour on the truks is a waste of points. Sure I wanted to be able to keep the truks moving if possible, but generally Chris had the firepower to obliterate the truk. The extra armour was rather redundant.

All in all, good to have a game with my Orks. Now they have to go back to Bugrit and Ereyoo for some more truks. Slightly less explosive ones this time...

Monday, 23 November 2009

Tomb Kings

Another look at some old models I'm quite proud of. The key with this one is to compare it to the skeletons I did when I first started painting warhammer models... or just as telling, the "better" ones I painted in the summer before I moved to Portsmouth that I thought were 10 times, 100 times better than the ones that went before! Luckily I don't have photos of those ones, so I'll just have to show these off instead ;o)

A unit of Skeleton Warriors (I also have a unit painted with Spears)

A closer look at the unit Champion

And this next piece is a conversion to make a Liche Priest equipped with the Cloak of the Dunes. As I thought the magic item had clearly taken inspiration from "The Mummy" I drew inspiration from the same source when it came to the model. The original attempt had a green stuff cloak too, but it looked flat and fake and I think ruined the model. So I can up with the better one, where instead of a cloak and sandstorm legs, the storm begins where the cloak would, and sweeps the priest along in it.

I have lots of this stuff waiting on the inspiration to start it up again. With those fantastic new foundation paints and washes, and rumours of a new codex maybe sometime next year, perhaps we have another contender for Warhammer ToFG :oP


A long time ago I used skills and doctrines to design an awesome guard army for cityfight. I had a bunch of the new Cadians lying around, so I built the army to match the list. I then painted several vehicles and a couple of units, before inevitably with me getting distracted.

Now I have to admit this was on the back burner long before they took away my skills and doctrines. I made great effort to keep the army in a seperate case and not mix it in with the rest of my guard in the hope this would keep it pure and some day I'd come back to it. Then apoc came, and I needed models, more models, EVERY model I could get my hands on for the biggest games imaginable... I still have allthe Cadians, but the list is no longer valid. But if I ever paint up all my Cadian models, this is the colour scheme I want to paint them in. I'd like to do a dedicated cityfight army using Cadian models, but it's a long way down a very long list of things I want to paint.

Now there is one thing I really like this model for. It was the first time I painted faces without eyes. Previously I'd painted the eyes white and very carefully tried to dot the eyes so they're looking in the same direction. I got quite good at it, though there were still some distinctly odd looking dudes floating about (away with the fairies by the look on their faces...) But I realised that if a person was so far away that they looked the size of a model... I would not see the whites of their eyes. Admittedly, you wouldn't see anything more than a vague humanoid shape either, but that's beside the point :oP

For my first attempt at a face without eyes, using just shadow to suggest eyes, I'm really quite proud of it. It was a significant step in my painting development. Sure, I reckon I can do better now, but you have to look back at these important moments.


A few images of my personal favourite unit from my Dark Elves army, the superb Cold One Knights, plus a Dreadlord on Cold One.

I have also painted about 20 warriors with spears, but they have a slightly simpler less impressive colour scheme. It looks good enough ranked up though. I still have about 20 Spearmen, 40 Corsairs, and a few Sorceresses and Assassins to do, plus about 20 Repeater Crossbowmen and a couple of Reaper Bolt Throwers.

I'm trying to avoid purchasing more until I've got through that lot, as I don't want to build up the same kind of backlog I built up on my Empire and Guard. With ToFG and other projects taking priority, I don't expect to get to this lot any time soon. Perhaps a Warhammer ToFG in 6 months time :oP

Winds Of War

I've entered Winds of War 2010 at Bracknell Forest Gamers. It's a doubles combat patrol tournament. It's gonna be me and Ken as a team, whilst the other two ToFG competitors are forming another team.

After some debate about teams and available armies, it was settled that I was with Ken. As that meant I had to play Guard (neither Templars nor Tau would play with Orks - Snobs!) I designed a combat patrol. At first I thought of using my latest conversion ideas but couldn't come up with a fluffy link to tie them together. But then inspiration struck...

The new Nid codex is out in January. It is eligible for this tournament. To reflect that I expect to see at least one Nid list there (and probably a whole host of gamers abandoning their JOTWW Space Wolf Forces for whatever power list this codex throws up in the coming months) I decided to lean towards anti nids in the fluff. Thus Ken (using Templars) and I will form the team "Bug Stompers"

One of the units that is a natural contender in a combat patrol is the Penal Legion Squad. Cheap. Scoring. Stubborn. With some interesting random options. Plus, a little while ago I converted a unit of them using various bitz from Cadians, Catachans, Flagellents and even some Baneblade crew! The result is below.

I am particularly happy that I had enough flagellent chains to put ankle shackles on each convict, and a little key for the Custodians belt. The guy in the stocks has clearly inspired the Custodians wrath in some way, and I intend to paint a target on the banner to really bring the point home. That'll teach him to say the custodian looks like the back of a Grox!

Anyway, I've converted up another unit of these crazed thugs, giving me two cheap stubborn scoring units that, depending on what they roll, could prove excellent at defending a position, or could prove quite nasty in assault.

Working purely from fluff, I designed the rest of my army. Admittedly the priest and convicts form one element of the army while the rest of the army form another, and there isn't really a logical reason to link them... but when I reveal the background fluff no one can accuse me of not following the inspiration exactly. ;o)

As mentioned, the convicts also have a priest. He does lack the ability to outflank, so if I want to outflank they'll have to go without him. But if I wish to set up conventionally he will prove a useful asset. Plus there wasn't much else to spend the spare points on - tactically I could think of better lists, but as I said I'm working from fluff on this one.

Anyway, the rest of the army consists of a bunch of Storm Troopers I'm converting up from Cadians, with a couple plasma guns to compliment their AP3 lasguns (I working from fluff but I'm not completely gonna screw myself :oP) They have a chimera to ride in, meaning the deep strike asset is pointless. So whichever of the other two options I take, they can outflank. Along with the entire force, excepting the Priest. Told you religious types had no friends...

Finally, I have a Scout Sentinal with heavy flamer. I've converted this model extensively and am quite proud of it. Photos will follow at some point, along with work on the Storm Troopers.

For now, given this project will run concurrently with ToFG, wish me luck :oS

TOFG: Month 1

Ok, so the pics have come through, but rather than bash them all out in one big post, I'm going to do several smaller posts. Sure it means several posts on one day, but it makes it easier to find them again later :oP

First up, TOFG.

I've still to finish the Stormboyz, so basic Boyz for now.

Here's a Mob of 12.

Here's the thug leading them.

And here's their ride.

I've got two units/truks, and they're all done. Just 10 Stromboyz left to paint.

My month 2 list is almost certainly gonna be (I don't HAVE to commit till the 30th after all, but seeing as everyone else is going for it...)

10 Lootas
Looted vehicle (will transport Lootas - This will be a converted Truk, and in larger games will probably go back to being a truk... but for now I wanted to build the model and had no other way of including it in my army, due to Lootas not being allowed dedicated transports.)
12 boyz inc Nob with Power Klaw.
Truk (for the boyz)
Big Mek with Shok Attack Gun
Deffkopta (to make up the points for this month.)

All in all, quite a bit to do. The Big Mek is especially daunting, quite possibly the biggest challenge in my proposed 2000 point list. Best to get it out of the way then I suppose... :oP

Busy Weekend

Ok, I'm still waiting on my friend who volunteered to take some top quality pics for me to actually take them off her camera and email them to me, so I'll do a brief summary of achievements and new projects started over the last few days, and do a more detailed post with pictures later.

Almost finished Novembers stuff, had hoped to get it all finished by this weekend, but I had some inspiration I wanted to act on, plus wasn't in a painting mood for a few days, so felt it best to do some converting instead rather than risk messing my hard work up. I have a squad of Stormboyz to finish, and I'm down to highlighting and detail, and then the bases, so nearly there.

Also for ToFG I planned out my next months workload and have set it all aside in a box ready for December.

Winds of War
Chris suggested we all sign up for WInds of War, and all four TOFG competitors have. I'll be teaming up with Ken, meaning I'm taking my guard (Neither Templars nor Tau will work with Orks) As there are points available for nicely converted armies, I've decided to do an entirely seperate Guard combat Patrol special for this tournament. So more work :o/

I came up with a list, roughly detailed below.

Storm Troopers with 2 Plasmaguns and Chimera
Penal Legion Squad
Penal Legion Squad
Scout Sentinal with Heavy Flamer

Now for those of you who've seen my penal legion squad I converted out of Cadian and Flagellent bits with a smattering of Catachan, well I'm gonna paint them up for this, and have made another squad using the same method.

I've started on my Storm Troopers using Cadians as a basis, though want to do some converting on them. Part of that is a conversion of the gun so it is definitely NOT your average lasgun. I'm waiting on some Bitz from Rich (Space Marine Scout Shotguns) to carry on converting that squad. The plasmagunners are ready though. I also want to do a chimera special for the squad.

I've also done some heavy converting on a Sentinal with heavy flamer. I am quite proud of how this model has turned out and while I'm a bit daunted by painting it I'm looking forward to the end result.

Psyker Battle Squad
After the excellent form they showed in the apoc game I figured it was about time I converted a psyker battle squad, especially given I wanted some more flagellent bitz for my penal legion anyway. So Cadian bodies with flagellent/Catachan heads and arms - penal legion. Flagellent robes with Cadian arms (a rather strange look to see them with open robes and carapace shoulder pads, but I reckon it'll look ok painted) and bald heads (some from Cadian command squad, also picked up a few off the flagellent sprue) are psykers.

Other Projects
Other projects I have on my list at the moment are sitting with no progress as yet, some I need bits for, some I just need time. But active projects (quite aside from any Guard, Empire, Baneblades, Dark ELves, Valkyries, Tomb Kings, Vultures etc I decide to pick up and do) are listed below.

Catachan Rough Rider (on Cold One) Prototype
Boombunnies of Khorne
Warp Rift
Assault Boat Prototype
Skullhammer (needs more converting work ready for TOFG apoc month)
ToFG January
ToFG February
Heavy Weapon Bases (A bunch of bases I want to make scenic so my current heavy weapons can be used on a single large base, in keeping with the latest rules, without making a permanent change, cos we know GW change their minds from one edition of a codex to the next :oP)
Army base/tray for Winds of War
Chimera for Winds of War

Saturday, 14 November 2009

Apoc Weekend

I went to visit my friend Ken for an apoc weekend. 5000 point game, my guard vs his black templars. Ken has a couple of titans. They're always a pain in the arse. I've come up with several cunning ploys over the years to bring them down, but have usually not had much success. I have taken "junior" out on one occassion (a mere warhound) but never reaver. So here we go again.

In the past I've tried tunnels and meltaguns, flank march and chainfists, shadowswords (aka bullet magnets) thunderbolts and vortex grenades. This time I have a new tactic - nothing! I decided to ignore them. To pretend they weren't there. Rather than waste my firepower at these things that just WILL NOT DIE... shoot something else. Course they can still make their points back, killing a couple of baneblades a turn. So let's limit their damage potential. No baneblades.

Adding up the tanks I had, I realised with my minimum of infantry I wanted, a few assassins, and my battle tanks... I was over 6000 points. Hmm, rethink required.

So I went for an infantry HORDE. 300ish infantry. NO tanks. In fact only two vehicles in the entire army (valkyries) My basic plan was to have 2 huge amalgamated squads of guard, 50 strong, one made fearless by Yarrick the other Ld9 stubborn by a Lord Commissar. They were to hold my home objectives. I had another platoon with defence lines to try to keep Kens templars further away. Plenty of missile launcher and lascannon armed heavy weapon squads, about 5 demo charge squads to give ken something to think about. I also had the Straken bomb loaded in a valkyrie, a penal legion squad in a valkyrie for a late game objective grab, and some deep striking storm troopers to help clear Ken off an objective. I had three psyker battle squads ready to weaken Kens resolve (gotta love that rule on Black Templars) and several units of ratlings to try to give them a reason to run. I also had 5 Callidus assassins for the fun they bring, and a vindicare with some spare points. I also brought 3 Primaris Psykers, wanting to test the model out, having never used one before. I assigned one to each 50 man mob, hoping Nightshroud would spare them some heat for a while.

We were playing a fifth edition apoc amalgamation. Only troops would count as scoring, but they'd have to be over half strength. (Knowing this would technically make my 50 man mob no longer count as scoring once they were down to 24, I HAD to take Hold At All Costs. This made EVERY troop choice guardsmen on the table scoring. So about 250 of them then...) We'd bid time for setup, the loser would have the opportunity to sieze the initiative.

Ken bid three minutes (I'd kept quiet about my army composition whilst I bid 30. I was planning on going second (though would sieze the initiative if given the chance.) He put down his army. I put down my horde. I kept the Callidus assassins, the psyker battle squads, the storm troopers and the valkyries (flying) in reserve, plus a few demo charge squads I was lost for where to place. I failed to sieze the initiative, but my word in Kens ear did have good results. I moved his term squad back into difficult terrain, and likewise with both landraiders and a rhino. I also moved a predator behind a building. One of the land raiders then immobilised itself trying to get out of the terrain. Result!

Kens titans were still effective. He butchered 40+ guardsmen in the first turn alone. The plasma balstgun was bad enough (hard to claim cover from something so high) but the str D was annoying as hell. Sure, not as valuable a target as a baneblade, but touch it and they're dead. It was annihalating my heavy squads and command squads fairly effectively. He took out my command that was to support my lines with commands (and one of the primaris psykers) and generally moved towards me.

Trying to stem the tide of fire I hoped nightshroud would help. THis would need Ken to pass a Ld test to target my big squads. Sure it'd be on Ld 10, but if you make someone roll the dice they'll eventually fail, and if it spares me one turn shooting that's something. So Yarricks squad first,Primaris Psyker... double 6. Yarrick muttered something about it being for his own good and blew his brains out. Unlucky. Other squad... double 6! The Lord Commissar muttered "What Yarrick said" and blew his brains out. Right. Well that 140 points was useful, good to give that new unit a good field test!

The next couple turns was Ken butchering guardsmen every chance he got. I did get some effective revenge on turn two, when Psyker battle squads weakened the resolve of a couple units... while a Callidus popped up next to them with her Str 8 against Ld AP1 flame template... This and the following charge wiped out two of Kens four scoring units, and seriously pulled the teeth from one of his terminator squads. Yarrick got up from being given a cuddle by a dread to take out another scoring unit. Turn 3 saw Marbo and the storm troopers take down a couple of the others, while Yarricks foolhardy charge saw the inevitable result. This time he didn't get up. But on turn 4 my Straken bomb dealt with Kens last scoring unit. He now could only draw at best. Of course, there wasn't much left on my side either. The turns were going quite quickly so we decided to play it fifth edition standard - at the end of turn 5 roll a dice, see if there's a turn 6.

Ken carried on trying to finish off my scoring units. Unbeknownst to him I had another in the valkyrie just flying round, keeping out of trouble, and taking the occassional shot at the predator to clear an objective for me to land on. At the end of turn 5 I believe ALL the objectives were contested. In turn 6 he wiped out all the scoring units I had left on the table, apart from a heavy weapon team that was too close to his drop pod for his titans to target. They then sprinted for the central objective to claim it. Knowing they could make it, I positioned my valkyrie so that, if there was a turn 7 and he killed those brave soldiers, I could drop my penal legion squad on an empty objective and claim the win. As it is, the dice came up short, we finished the game at the end of turn 6, the score being Guard:1 Templars:0

Looking at the aftermath, I had a heavy weapons team on the table. I had a Callidus assassin that had been too far away to influence anything. And I had a valkyrie, carrying a penal legion squad, and a Lord COmmissar (wanted them to stick around if I was gonna go for a late objective grab!) Just under 500 points, from 5000. Ken had 2 dreads, 4 terminators, an immobilised Crusader, a predator, damocles rhino, couple drop pods, and oh yeah, a warhound and a reaver. From forces remaining he was in the stronger position. But I had won. Looking back, I hadn't exactly planned it this way, but I hadn't fired a single shot at his titans. I'd figured the heavy weapon teams could try to shoot them later, but the priority was his transports, get his troopers in the open by the time my Callidus' arrived. By the time I'd dealt with his transports, he'd dealt with my heavy weapons! 5000 points of guard firing at 3000 points of marines, I'd managed to kill off the parts that mattered. The scoring units. In my army I had 250 scoring men, Ken had about 40. I like incorporating fifth edition into apoc, as it encourages people to actually take some troops in their armies. I think Ken will bear that in mind next time we play, and will have more bodies on the ground that are scoring units.

Also from this, flyers are great against Templars. They have NO effective anti air. The titans couldn't shoot me as long as I was flying, and with me concentrating on his other forces he had little else in the way of fire support. I need to paint my vendettas by the next time I play. 9 lascannons that the titans can't hurt? That sounds like Pims o'clock!

Monday, 9 November 2009

Rough Riders

I've always like dthe rough riders unit, but never liked the models. This has led to me substituting warhammer models while trying to get together the bits to convert my own unit of rough riders. In the new guard codex, rough riders no longer had fleet, so part of their strength had gone. It wasn't as much a priority anymore.

However, something on bols caused me to check my rule book. The reason Imperial Guard Rough Riders no longer have fleet in their unit entry is because Beasts have it as standard. Doi!

I'm a bit busy with ToFG at the moment, but I think my next guard project might have to be some Catachan rough riders using the superb new cold one knights as a basis for the model. Now just to get guard legs to fit...

Saturday, 7 November 2009

ToFG: Journal - Crowd Pleasers!

Ereyoo making another entry. No, I haven't come up with a better name to reflect my grand intellect yet, and who would I tell anyway? The only person who talks to me (or yells at me as the case may be) doesn't give a frak what I may say my name is...

On the bright side the workshop is bustling. We're rigging up a couple of trucks we found, strapping together enough load space to carry a mob and painting them the obligatory red (the very idea that red ones go faster, it's ludicrous and scientifically impossible! But the customer is always right, and if they want a red one, they get a red one...) We're doing enough business that Bugrit is talking about building a recovery vehicle, so we can go collect more "spares."

On another bright note, we made a good pile of teeth (orkish currency) and took out one of our mobs main rivals by making some crowd pleasing jetpacks. You may have noticed some of the disturbances over the past couple days. The remnants of a massive stormboyz camp has been absorbed into our little warband. Rivals become recruits, a good tactic to any Ork general. The key part of the trick was my own idea of self preservation. While working on the ones that Bugrit wants to be "temperamental" I decided if there was gonna be an accident it should be as far away from me as possible. I added coloured fragments so that I could find the remains for salvage. This proved very popular with all Orks in the area, and we had a spectacular night of oohs and aahs (or uuugs and aaaags) while thinning the stormboyz numbers. Perhaps you also enjoyed the show?

Anyway, the nights are getting cold, and I think there's a touch of snow in the air. So I'm gonna get back in the workshop, before Bugrit locks me out again!

Monday, 2 November 2009

ToFG: Journal of a Sentient Grot

Well, here we are in my first journal entry, allow me to introduce myself. I am a grot, though in my newly enhanced state I find that term quite offensive and would prefer to be called a muscularly challenged ork. I have still yet to think of a name for myself, as I can now see that Ereyoo isn't my real name, despite what I may have believed for my short torrid existence thus far. It will do for the time being... not many sentient creatures get the opportunity to name themselves, and I wish to put some thought into it. As for my enhanced state, that would be due to my "master" Mek Bugrit, who has been trying for some time to make some sort of weapon that fires my lesser brethren through the warp. I was a test shot yesterday. For some reason I emerged from a horrifying journey with my intellect boosted incredibly. Sadly my muscles were not boosted to match, otherwise I would shove that tube up Bugrits... no, those thoughts are beneath me. I am sure with my gentle guidance his career as a Mek will flourish and make life better for our little tribe.

Our little tribe is centred around Bugrits workshop, where among the various projects he has on the go we are currently repairing a couple of trucks, producing jetpacks for any idiots willing to try them, "testing" some sort of gun that fires my kin through some other realm and of course the endless scheme of creating a motorbike that Mek Bugrit can actually ride, just like his hero Wazdakka Gutsmek. Unlike Wazdakka, Bugrit is hopeless on two wheels, dangerous on three, and just as likely to fall off four or more. For an Ork that loves speed, he really could do with a better sense of balance.

My personal project (apart from mere survival) is to get my hands on that grot gun and find out what happened to me. If I could replicate the effect, I could create a master race. Sure the bigger guys push us around now, but all we'd need to do is reach a critical mass and we could run it all! Can you imagine such a society? Run for the benefit of all green kind with intelligence guiding us through the stars? It is a dream worth striving for.

Anyway, I must return to my duties. I have to go and "correct" my work from earlier. Apparently fully functioning jet packs just aren't crowd pleasers, and if at least one in five isn't little more than a suicide belt with a touch of thrust it's just not good enough.