Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Everybodys dead Dave....

An update of my character lists for the ongoing Blood in the Badlands campaign...

Just so people know, a dead character has to be injured in battle, roll on the character injury table and get a 1... then follow that with a second 1. So fairly unlikely...

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Sir Ulric - Templar Grand Master. Stupid git.
Ulrics Hammers - Inner Circle Knights. Also Stupid next game...
Otto Vont Misdermark - Engineer

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The Mad Monk - Arch Lector - DECEASED
Arthur Brown - level 4 Fire Mage - jinx. DECEASED
The Mad Monks Martyrs. Flagellents. Nerfed, but sadly still alive...
Roughguts - Level 4 Beast Mage - So far untested...

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General Wilde - General of the Empire - Poet Laurette. DECEASED
40 Swords - Stupid for next game

This does now give me a minor dilemma... I need to replace General Wilde. Now for a while I have been saying how much I think the Marius Leitdorf special character would make a perfect Sir Ulric - blustering fool, bit loony... I have even said if we do a follow up campaign I'll just use his rules for Ulric... but then again, perhaps he and Ulric would get along well now, and he may invite him on his little jaunt to the Badlands... but then again, as Jason proved with Lokhir losing his weapons and unable to alter a special character to replace them, special characters can be risky...

Sunday, 15 April 2012

Madness and Treachery!

"Wilde! You look like a drowned rat!" roared Ulric

"Well as much as I debate the nature of the beast the article of expression is about right"

This eloquence just left a puzzled expression on Ulrics face...

"Means I agree sir"

"I knew that! Now what happened down in those marshes? Is our Southern flank secure?"

"Not exactly I'm afraid." admitted Wilde "We kinda got seperated from the rest of the army and stuck in a river... that wasjed away half my regiment. We weren't too far away from the action, as I heard a very distinctive bang midway through the battle"

"Wilde you could have been miles from the battle, my scouts on the edge of the marshes reported a very large bang in the middle of the afternoon. Is that why the Steam Tank has not returned?"

"I fear we may have seen the last of that I'm afraid... it has been dreadfully unreliable of late anyway, it barely made it to the edge of the marshes let alone far through it."

"So our southern flank is now overrun with Elves, Lizards, Ogres and Fetishists then? Do you have any good news?"

"I do have a small ray of hope for us... I have dealt with a small problem. I convinced our brutish 'allies' to buy back Arthur and the Mad Monk..."

"YOU DID WHAT?!?!?"

"Hear me out Sir! I got them handed over to the Ogres, as they control Stormhenge..."

Sir Ulric looked blank

"Where you can perform ritual sacrifices

Walls have more expression than Ulrics face

"The ogres had themselves a hearty meal?"

Cows have more comprehension than Sir Ulric right now

"The jinx and the loon are dead!"

"Oh, right, good!"

"Yes Sir. Now we just need to appoint someone to take control of their army. It's somewhat in disarray, and there are so many of those raving loonies around the camp I think they'll be around everytime they go out to fight, but if we give it to a capable general we may just get it somewhere."

"I know just the man" proclaimed Ulric "Roughguts!"

"Who?!?"

"Wizard, wears brown, sure he said his name was Radagats or something... I call him Roughguts cos he doesn't half drop some bad uns, not one to share a small gatehouse with if you get my meaning!"

"You are as subtle as ever sir..."

"Anyway, he talks to Annabel and she likes him and she's never been wrong about anybody so I'll put him in charge."

"Annabel? Sir?"

"My horse"

"I don't mean to shatter any illusions you may have here, but from certain anatomical features I'd hazard a guess that your horse is a stallion"

"No you're wrong, I know her lineage she's Arabyan"

"Well you know horses better than I, I'm sure you... and Annabel... know what's best."

As General Wilde left the chamber there was a distinct sound of sobbing as a poor poet lamented ever coming on an expedition with a lunatic, a jinx, and a sound and capable warrior - who sadly took a knock to the head in the first battle that he was still yet to recover from...

Tuesday, 3 April 2012

Another Fine Mess...

In the dark depths of the mines there was the constant chink of tools striking the rockface, the harsh crack of the whip, and the screams of the agonised slaves. The Mad Monk turned to the scorched and blackened figure beside him and muttered... "Arthur, this is another fine mess you've gotten us into!"

*Whipcrack* "Arrrrrrgggghhhh!"

AB: "I'm not sure why you're blaming me my lord... I was eaten by the hydra. I was lucky it was down to one head so swallowed me whole rather than fighting with itself over me. Being in one piece was a considerable advantage when I got my next spell off and vaporised the thing around me. I could have made good my escape if my timing had been better and it hadn't at the time been on the victory parade surrounded by an entire encampment. What's your excuse for not escaping from the field of battle"

MM: "Sigmar wills it clearly... otherwise i would have noticed one of those bloody pirates had tied my bootlaces together."

*Whipcrack* "Arrrrrrrrggggghhhhhh!"

AB: "You know I still have my magic items secreted about myself... they're a little singed but I can remake them from the fire anew and we can make our escape!"

MM: "You're crazier than I am!!! Fire! In this place! You'll blow us all to hell and back! If we are to escape it must be by conventional means..."

*Whipcrack* "Ooooooooh, again, AGAIN!"

Arthur paused for a moment with a puzzled look on his face... "One of your lot?"

"Probably" The Mad Monk replied "Either one of the martyrs or a dark elf. Those guys have a bit too much in common at times..."


*This tale is because both my heroes of legend that took part in the last battle were captured by the enemy.*