"Onward" yelled Sir Ulric as the enemy drew into sight "Onward to vic..."
And that was the last that was heard of Sir Ulric as his horse foundered on the magically charged ground. His knights thundered on and held themselves to reasonable account, and the artillery fire from the common soldiery was assisting the noble cause... until an unassailable threat from orbit wiped out the entire artillery encampment. The life wizard helped the knights as long as he could, and even managed to make the enemy leader founder on the same magically charged ground (losing a revered item as his plinth came crashing down to earth) before several simultaneous charges scattered his band of warriors to the four winds. Clearly they were in the wrong place, at the hands of some very bad intelligence.
The army survivors mustered away from the battlefield, and the next day Sir Ulric joined them. He looked somewhat dazed. "Right" he said "Let's try that again shall we?"
"But Sire, what of reports that the Fortress is to the North? We hear of rebellions, castles crumbling, and great portents of doom as all armies head to the centre of the Badlands"
"Yes, but we also heard the Fortress was up river, and that turned out to be tosh didn't it? Those lizards unhorsed me without me having even a chance to fight. It is my honour that must be... honoured... and as such we have to fight again. And beat them this time. And win. And... er... yes, that'll cover it. Let's get ready, for on the morrow we march North!"
"But the lizards are to the South and East"
"I knew that! That's what I meant. WessssssSouth it is then. South. We go South."