Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Background: You're a WHAT wizard?

With a force hastily assembled, Sir Ulric set forth to reach Mount Bloodhorn. He had a lore of life wizard in tow, who promised to use his ways to draw his men from the jaws of death and make them far harder to kill. After a couple of unsuccessful battles this sounded good to Sir Ulric.

Some of the Mad Monks nutters had gone on ahead, and secured themselves a watchtower. But with Dark Elves standing in their way, Sir Ulric wanted to claim the strategically important tower, besieged by Corsairs as he arrived. "Support them" he yelled.

"Won't take but a moment my lord" proclaimed his life wizard... he swept his arms wide, uttered some words of power, vines starting to caress his body and lift him... followed by a soft fizzle and nothing. "Er... I don't think I can help them just yet my lord"

The screams of the dying echoed across teh field as the Corsairs took the tower. "It's a good thing those idiots go seeking death" stated Ulric "Now give me some support as I try to take back that tower.

"Won't take but a moment my lord" proclaimed his life wizard... he swept his arms wide, uttered some words of power, vines starting to caress his body and lift him... followed by a soft fizzle and nothing. "Er..."

Half of Ulrics knights were butchered as their armour seemed to fail them uncharacteristically. They were then charged in the flank, but the fighters paused as Sir Ulric and the enemy BSB challenged each other. Both had flaming weapons. Both flaming weapons bounced off each others flame-retardant magical armour. The fight progressed as the swordsmen accompanying the life wizard eventually took the tower. Meanwhile the steam tank shuffled around to keep it's immense bulk between the enemy knights and the important fight near the tower.

As the last of Sir Ulrics knights were butchered (again unsupported by the wizard of Life) Sir Ulrics flaming weapon petered out... allowing him to start to beat the enemy BSB in earnest and get the upper hand. Just as it looked like the battle was won, a voice issued from the tower "I think I have the hang of this now Sir" followed swiftly by a loud explosion, that almost but not quite drowned out the sound of most of a regiment dying a swift and brutal death. "Er..."

Luckily the enemy decided the tower was a lost cause and left the field, back to their Arks. "Well you were bloody useful weren't you?" accused Sir Ulric

"I did manage to fix that leaky pipe on the Steam tank my lord... you see I took to the colleges of Magic but my dad used to fix peoples outhouses, so I know a little about pipes and stuff..."

"Well at least you have some uses, come on"


The survivors from the watchtower debacle trudged up toi Mount Bloodhorn to find the delay had been costly. There were others already there. Ogres and Orcs were besieging High Elves and... those damn lizards!

A timely intervention from Ulric, the Steam tank and the handgunners saw off two assaulting elements from the flank of the fortress, along with their support artillery. They positioned themselves to releive the siege at the front gate, but the mortars had more ambitious ideas... they lofted a couple of shots which broke the resolve of the ogres attacking the opposite flank. With the attack in disarray the Forces of Disorder fled the field, and the Forces of Order decided they'd all taken enough of a licking for one day, and withdrew to return later.


Several hours later, a solitary High Elf, covered in dirt, blood and grime, emerged from the mines beneath the fortress. He planted a flag, claiming the fortress on behalf of his army which had been massacred below. His general was missing and his friends were dead, but somehow they'd inexplicably won the day...


  1. Yeah the Elves who didnt even turn up won the bloody day, due to some underhanded tactics and the evil plyers deciding that Rich F is the easier target to take it back off, he cant win without Teclis :P

    1. To be honest we can't blame the evil players for this... Scott voted for you, and Jason voted for me. It was our erstwhile ally Neil who a) voted for Rich F and b) said to Stu, who had no real clue what was going on, "vote for Rich F" Git!